How long solo trips results in real personal transformation

It does not seem to be a coincidence that I am meeting more and more people who are wandering in pursuit to find themselves. This is so because it seems I am on a look out for them. I learn the most from them. One can learn only from a learner. The person who knows cannot share his knowledge. Only a learner can share. All great teachers are learners themselves.

I meet such people through books, courses and friendships, whatever is feasible. It does not matter whether it is in person, virtual or energetically. This month I met two such outstanding fellows. I met them through their books (energetically). They are Paul Millerd and Phil Goddard. So much similar names, both starting with letter P, 4 characters each, surnames having 7 characters each, a double alphabet and similar sounding endings. Sorry this is just a distractive observation, but may help you to slow down a bit and become more present.

Paul wrote the book “The Pathless Path: Imagining a New Story For Work and Life” and Phil wrote “Tasting Mangoes: Reflections on the Sweet Love Affair of Being Human”. Both are freelancers, mentors, coaches and of course writers. Both the authors redefines life and work by being so vulnerable and generously shared their stories in a very authentic manner. I recommend you reading both the books whole heartedly. There are so many notes I took while reading their accounts and I plan to share few nuggets here. However one common thing which strike me was how much of their transformation happened during their solo trips. They both decided to go to another country. Paul went to Taipie in Taiwan and Phil went to Bali in Indonesia. Both went without any concrete plan and without a return ticket in hand.

Here are my key take-aways picked from them on how long solo trips break us from the default mindset and help us know, then experience and finally realize new insights which otherwise would not be possible sitting on your couch.

Knowing

1. You have to completely leave the old to create anything new. Old + 20% new is still old
2. Art or creativity is an act of navigating without a map
3. The only thing needed to heal is to shift the focus towards love
4. Best way to talk to yourself is by talking to another person or stranger whom you can trust
5. “Freedom from” is relatively easier but without finding “freedom to” it is easy fall prey to wrong pursuits
6. Better to focus on what you want rather what you don’t want
7. Discipline is remembering what you want, distraction is everything else

Experiencing

1. Ask yourself, how it is to live life not oriented around work?
2. We cannot avoid the discomfort of being human. Trying to avoid the discomfort (of change) is sure shot way of keeping us away from what we want
3. The desire for security and the feeling of insecurity are the same thing
4. Humans don’t mind hardship, what they mind is not feeling necessary
5. We can love everything which is happening in life (funny example — You may not love the fart but you can love the farter).
6. Shifting of focus from what you lack to what you have to offer
7. In being me I am also being you. Without condemnation, forgiveness is unnecessary

Realizing

1. Whenever you think there is something missing in your life, it is probably you
2. There is no need to prove anything to anyone, not even to yourself
3. Getting lost simply means that the world has become larger than your knowledge of it
4. How we feel now or our past means nothing about what is possible
5. When you let go of the outcome in any process, you free-up lot of energy
6. Only having ownership of your time makes you rich
7. Money cannot help you to come to a place where you really trust and know that everything will be okay. Only way to develop trust is to explore the limits and appreciating for discomfort

Though I am still preparing and yet to embark on this journey of exploring the unknown. Or I may have already begin travelling with these guys on a different plane. I don’t know but Paul and Phil both helped me to build confidence in moving an inch closer to trust and follow the heart. As Phil says that we have reached here because of everything which has happened so far and Paul would add that the search for work worth doing is the real work. Both suggest to keep experimenting, creating and iterating which I cannot agree more. How has been your experience with solo-trips and finding your purpose, please do share.