How cultivating spacious commitment is key for mindful growth
Why commitment fails
The phrase “One step forward and two step backward” can perfectly summarize my personal growth for many years inspite of my “full” commitment towards the discipline and to-do lists having all the right things to imbibe accumulated from all the right sources. I lately realize that my commitment during this period was more from the head making my life more difficult rather than helping me to live freely. There was a constant feeling of being under pressure to perform which comes with its own weight of guilt when there are some days where things don’t go as planned.
Spaciousness is another extreme
Unable to bear the pain, I started giving myself a shot of anesthesia in the form of “letting go” and decided to practice it not falling for any “should be’s” and let life bring whatever it plan to without me to trying to change the course of the wind. This was infact was the very beautiful space to be in, as I let go of my mind and was enjoying the spaciousness of non-doing. The only downside here was I was still not giving enough heed to my heart, and so found something was missing.
Spacious commitment is the key
Very gradually, I started listening to my heart and initiated actions to its calling irrespective of how small or weird they sounded. Like any art, spacious commitment is a flow state and cultivating it is about striking a right balance between being-ness and doingness which is uniquely right for you. Though there is no one definition fits all but here are some pointers which may support in this journey -
- Not getting caught in polarities
In a see-saw, being always on one side is the most easiest where sometimes you feel being up in the air gives you more enjoyment while after a while you think being in relaxed position would be preferred. However the real game is to keep moving up and down. Similarly sometimes we give too much importance to our values while not looking what is in front of us or not giving the heed to our hearts desire. One simple example is that you may desire to eat some junk food, if you resist it too much because of implementing value of self control, this commitment from mind can bring you suffering. Rather if you just taste it mindfully looking at subtle feelings of your heart, the food may just loose its influence on its own in future.
2. “Now” is about lightness
I found “now” to be most easy and most complex topic. And the interesting part is that it is your choice how you want to perceive it. When you hold any commitment tightly, it may lead to self obsession which itself becomes a cause of suffering. One way to release the tightness is to pray for being unimportant. Can we identify ourselves in just doing our best with what is happening and not feel in-charge of outcomes. One simple way is to perceive being in “now” as easy and light:)
3. World find it difficult to accept a life as successful without goals
Having a goal-post limit the amount of space we may have otherwise have. As schools find it difficult to assess children without marks and grades, similarly world would always promote something tangible. However every achievement comes with its own baggage, this applies to any experience or “cracker” in personal or spiritual growth too. This is why being ordinary is an ideal stage where the main commitment is about being present and not expecting anything to happen. This does not mean complacency rather being non-resistant to life in general and keep heeding to your heart with utmost sincerity.
4. Applying serendipity selectively
Making efforts for something or something happening effortlessly is situational. This doing vs being movement is a natural process and vary not only person to person but time to time for the same person. None of the two is better than the other and if seen closely there will always be element of both in all persons and situations, though in different proportions.
5. You are always 10
Few years back when I asked my friend who is quite serious about his personal growth to rate himself on 10, he said he is 6. Then recently when I met him again, this question came up again and he said he is still 6 though he feels he has grown drastically in last few years but his standard of perfectness has also increased. I asked him to close his eyes and ask him what does he see more clearly with closed eyes. He closed his eyes and said “There will always be something which I will not see”.
In summary
The question to be asked to yourself is, are you being resistant to commitment which is just happening to you? The road is already laid in front of you, either you enjoy driving on this path or be ready for implications of taking the short cuts. I generally write articles in one go and avoid if anyone distracts me in between to not loose my flow of thought. However this time, I just let go of any such resistance while writing this post and attended to every small distraction which came up with knowing from my heart that I will eventually complete this.
