8 ordinary ways to embrace your Ordinariness!
Last month I got a call from someone looking for coaching and the first question he asked me was why I call myself the ordinary coach and how does being ordinary of any help in this world of fast growth. After few seconds of silence, I asked him whether he think this question to be ordinary or extra-ordinary? After some deliberation, he said it is just an ordinary question. Then I asked him I answer this to his satisfaction, how will this question help him? The conversation keep going on for some time like this. I am not sure if it was of really any help to him but it made me reflect on some simple steps one can follow to embrace one’s ordinariness.
1. Ordinary Intention
A friend recently asked me what is my new year resolution. I said rather I want to dissolve my wives fitness resolutions. Though it may sound like funny and non logical, it was an honest intention I had for some time. Though goals and resolutions need more determination and make you feel guilty if not achieved as planned, intentions are light weight, flexible and negotiable. What it means in above case is though I do my best to discourage my wife to not to get up early in the morning or to go out for her running but at the same time I don’t feel any bad when she still goes out consistently.
2. Ordinary Curiosity
There must be reason that every child is so curious and why still it is so difficult to find curious adults. To make it simple, curiosity is nothing but playing with our own thoughts and questions without blindly accepting the answer world wants you to accept. This not only requires a completely don’t know mindset but also a friendship with yourself. When I tell anyone about my attempts to be away from social media, news, politics, sports etc they ask me how do I pass time, to which my response is my best time is in my own company.
3. Ordinary Creativity
To be creative, you don’t have to be an artist or musician. To me being creative is to see something special in everything and it is a way of life. Like many engineers by default have system thinking and they can convert any life scenario into a process having input, processing and outputs. Similarly I have a colleague who has a great “Joke thinking”, he can bring a funny line from a famous Bollywood movie in every serious discussion making the problem fun to solve.
4. Ordinary Compassion
You may be surprised to know that there are many training programs and institutes who are teaching how to be become more compassionate these days. Though it is one of the core of being human, there is a great amount of need of such trainings and efforts as we are inclining more and more towards our own self interest. With increased self-interest, it becomes difficult to forgive others and one easiest question you can ask yourself to overcome this is “how much maximum benefit of doubt I can to this other person?”
5. Ordinary Surrender
Let go of things which are not in our control is only easy than being done. I have personally seen myself how much sometimes I become tense in slightly difficult situations though I have all the definitions of how should I operate. One thing to notice carefully is, what is your survival personality? The key is to note what is without defining what should be!
6. Ordinary Service
Many people think of joining or contributing to non profits for social causes as the only way of being service to mankind. However best service not about doing anything but your beingness. Just a genuine smile or lending an ear for careful listening can be a great service in your day to day life. Feeling gratitude for others and sending them good wishes is another simple way to serve.
7. Ordinary Well-being
Self care is important both when you are well and not well. Infact mostly self care is considered as proactive measures taken to be healthy physically and emotionally. Another type of self care is to leverage the time when you are not well. This is when it is easier to go beyond your physical limitations and reflect on who you are. One of the best advise I have received is don’t waste your pain, illness or suffering, as this time can be a boom if reflected well. Just like a soldier prepares well to be ready for the war, you should make yourself ready for such time.
8. Ordinary Witnessing
Lastly as everything is going on in your life and you are trying your best to make sense of it, there is someone experiencing all of it like a camera lens recording without any exclusion. Who experienced your childhood and who is experiencing your life currently, is that person changed even a little? My left eye is a lazy eye which means my right eye do most of the seeing, still there is something in me who can see my both the eyes.
One common theme across all these steps is to find a sweet spot for yourself which is effortless for you. This can be known only to you and the only way is to be alert enough to keep listening to your heart and what life wants to experience through you. Obviously there is no sequence to be followed and you can start wherever you want to and there is no perfect definition of any of them other than what you think is right.
Love and gratitude!
