10 Qualities of an Exceptional Coach
Coaching is an abstract profession, to say the least. It is not straight forward to answer what makes anyone exceptional in this art. This question has been on my mind since I have started on the journey to become a professional coach. Just like any other profession, there is a “range” of skills and personalities among coaching community. Say in medical world, one doctor may only deal with fever (basic) and another doctor can do a heart surgery (advanced). This is not to say one is better than the other. The message being there will always be a learning curve and supply demand for all levels of professionals.
If you google on this topic, you will easily find all the important qualities which makes up a good coach. Like a good coach is positive, patient, good listener, contextual, non-judgmental and so on. Infact most of the successful coaches have all these qualities through their trainings and practice, though in varied degrees. Even when coaches have mastered all these skills, it sounds like a perfect recipe, but still some salt seems to be missing. In my ever-evolving understanding and experience, exceptional coaches -
- Do not live in their past success
Wise men and women are natural coaches even when they are not trained as a coach. But one is wise only until he knows about it.
One of the most common introductions of coaches now a days is about their last leadership title which they think justifies their coming into coaching profession. Though it is fine to use your experience in understanding the context better but harping on it endlessly is deal breaker.
2. Are not confident of their coaching skills
Another misconception is that coaches have to be confident about themselves. Especially when coaches sees someone growing in their life or career post coaching, they may start feeling more confident in their skills.
This is another hindrance to the presence what a coach can bring.
Exceptional coaches intentionally carry “don’t know” mindset. With every new client, in every session.
3. Are learners themselves
Some coaches think the training for few months under a qualified and accredited course would be enough to call themselves a coach. It could be a good starting point, but destination is still far from there.
Everyone is learning something in one way or the other. Learning to learn is what is required for coaches. To consciously become a better learner.
4. Offers only coaching
When I was a child, my mother used to add a little water in the milk daily. Because of her hectic morning schedule, she delegated this task to me for some time. Being a generous soul, slowly I kept increasing the volume of water so that we have more to consume. One day, when my mother took the milk bottle from the refrigerator, she asked who has added small amount of milk in the water?
Similarly, it is an easier route for coaches to add a pinch of mentoring, motivation or direction when pressed for. But it will be difficult to know when it will convert into mentoring with a pinch of coaching.
5. Do not “do” coaching
Coaching session generally has a pattern, roles, structure and follows rules of the game. This is the doing part of the coaching.
When you are “being” a coach, these rules can become insignificant. Then what you bring is your authentic self, simply who you are.
6. Are timeless and space-less
An exceptional coaching session is timeless and space-less. When no one is monitoring time. It is like a time spent with your beloved.
7. Are coachable themselves
Many coaches wonder why people are reluctant to take advantage of coaching as a lever. But when looked closely, many coaches have similar resistance in hiring a coach for themselves.
In a coaching relationship, coaches encourage their clients to be more vulnerable. They do this showing their confident face.
In one situation, I asked my coachee to become my coach. The role reversal was quite empowering for coachee and tested my coachability capability.
8. Can laugh on themselves
The previous, this and next point are all different aspect of coach own vulnerability. Not only in coaching, but these pointers apply to all leadership roles. In both organizations and families context.
This again relates back to some of the earlier points too. If you are living in your past success or behaving confidently, how can you hold yourself lightly?
9. Are not afraid of contradicting themselves
This is another dimension of being vulnerable. In addition to ready to be coached, taking your lightly, how about changing your viewpoint when required.
Exceptional coaches practices detachment with their thoughts and actions.
10. Have service mindset
Recently I read the book “Living Service” by MCC Melissa Ford. It was a great life story of an honest life coach and her struggle to truly adopt service mindset.
One of the ways, this can be practiced is not to make your survival or identity dependent on being a successful coach. This can go a long way to bring your uniqueness into this profession. And not follow the herd just out of fear to remain relevant.
One of my favorite examples is about recent Indian Prime Ministers. Both Mr Singh and Modi have been on same positions but still how different they are. One was doing his role while other is being in his role. One was former Finance minister, another a tea seller. One silent, another never silent. One finding every situation difficult, another finding it as an opportunity to change. It is not to praise one over other. The point is journey from being good to
